A Good Day To Ride A One-Eyed Horse

Things You Find In The Country
You never know what you might find out in the rural areas in the Midwest.  I know that you can find black horses, brown horses, white horses, good looking horses, ugly horses,  pedigreed horses (Michele has lots) but I don't now if I can find a One-Eye Horse to ride today.  Many years ago, we used to go to a place with a carousel that had a horse with only one eye.  I always called that wooden horse the "one-eyed horse", and told everyone that I was going to look for a real horse that looked just like the one with only one eye.  I have yet to find one, but I remember my dad had a steer that had one eye poked out from the horns of another steer.  That can happen to animals when penned up together.

Besides being able to find horses in the country, you can always find an old piece of farm equipment rotting away in a pasture.  And, you can  sometimes find windmills and old pumps.  Besides crops and tractors and other equipment, you can usually find a lot of grass and crops.  In the yards of old houses you might see an old root cellar, which is great for tornadoes.  In the barnyard, you will most likely see a pig sty and pigs, a rabbit hutch, a hen house and chickens, a manure spreader, lots of poop, a cow lot with cattle, and a couple of trucks.  And if you drive the country roads at night, you could see a falling star.   The best thing of all is that you will see "Local Yokels".  All of these things are a part of country living.  If you don't live in Greenview nowdays, do you remember the sights I've listed?  They are still here.

But......I think it might be a while before I find my real one eyed horse to ride so maybe I better find something else to do today.  Maybe it would be a better day to clean dust bunnies from under the bed.  For a while I've wondered what exactly is under my bed....and  I know I didn't put that "stuff" under there.   I guess that the other resident of this house must have done that hoping I wouldn't notice because he knows I don't like to clean under the bed.  I just hope that none of those dust bunnies had babies or even worse, up and died under the bed.  What an awful thought.  So.....I guess I better plan to don my coveralls and my kerchief on my head and tackle the job I hate the most.  If you don't hear from me for a few days, I got lost under the bed among the dust bunnies.

Continuing Story......the finale
Today's post concludes the continuing story about a young girl who was afraid of death.  She grew up and learned that death is a part of life and life is a part of death.  Here's the final post in this series: 

"Losing my dad was hard but not as hard as it was losing my mom. I firmly believe children are typically closer to their moms, so I feel death on the maternal side is harder to cope with. After my dad died, then Grandma and Aunt Marie both died in their mid-90’s. Luckily I spent a lot of time with Grandma in her older years and learned a lot about her younger years but, I didn’t get to talk to her about knowing if she was dying or how she felt. But she was a very religious person and I know she was a willing soul because she loved the Lord so much.

Through the next years, the loss of classmates really bothered me. These people were kids who were actually like family. After all, growing up with these kids and going to school and playing with the kids all of those years, we spent more time together than most families spend with their kids. And our classmates really were close. We'd already lost two classmates while in school. After graduation came word that one classmate had hung himself, then one was killed in a car wreck, then one died of a heart attack, then two got cancer at about the time I had a massive heart attack. Us three who were sick at the same time survived those first years, and then one of the cancer victims lost the battle not long ago but I survive still and so does the other cancer victim. The cancer victim who lost her life knew she was dying and finally made the decision to not have any more treatment which would slow the progression. I remember her sister telling me that my friend just didn’t want to go to the hospice facility because she knew she wouldn’t come home ever again. She finally agreed to go to hospice and died I believe the next day. She knew she was dying. She could feel death approaching. I don’t think she was afraid, but she didn’t want to go. Shortly after that, another of our classmates died of a heart attack. It appears death is creeping upon the babyboomers and I’m still not quite ready, but I feel I’m not afraid like I was as a child.

Two years ago, my father-in-law was nearing death due to cancer. Hospice people explained it to him, but it didn’t sink in for quite a while. He thought he would get better and go home again since he had been bad before and got better and went home. This time it wouldn’t happen. He told me he wasn’t ready as there were so many things he wanted to do. He wanted to travel and see more sites in the USA. He wanted to do ‘things”. But that didn’t happen and he slipped away one night after we all had been with him. He knew and could feel death approaching but he was scared. I was holding his hand and singing Jesus Loves Me to him just hours before his death. He was mad at me because he felt that I was the one who put him in hospice, but it wasn’t my decision.  He thought I was making him die.   But, better he blamed me than his children. They were too upset to watch him slip away and the decision for hospice placement was difficult so they were naturally upset.  I had been through so many persons dying whom I really loved, I became strong and could shoulder the blame that came from my father-in-law. I feel he knew the real truth when he reached God’s side.

After my father-on-law’s death, my wonderful collie Toby got very sick. The vet bills were too much to handle and we had to make a choice since he couldn’t get better. Toby had been with us for over 11 years and was like a family member. He didn’t complain, and it broke my heart. He was faithful to the end and loved us with no strings attached. He is buried on our hill, with his favorite blanket and lies next to our previous best friend Shilo who left us in 1999.

During the illnesses of my father-in-law and my dog, my two sisters and my best friend were gravely ill and getting worse. The youngest sister couldn’t understand death as she was ravished with Alzheimer’s. My oldest sister didn’t want anything to do with talking about being sick. She just wouldn’t believe she was getting worse. I knew that I had to talk to her but it was difficult. She got worse and finally went into a nursing home. Her doctor did not do his job as he was afraid to tell her she had only a few days to live. I tried to talk to her but she didn’t want to listen even though she knew she was bad. She wanted to go home. Finally the doctor told her she was dying but she didn’t believe it. On her last day, we all stood around her and told her it was ok to let go. She fought death until her last breath and it was difficult to watch. We held her hands and all sang Jesus Loves Me to her and it seemed to calm her a bit. Then she left us. Death was difficult for her but it didn’t scare me like it did when I was a young girl.

Next came the death of Jean, who was one of my best friends and who was also an aunt by marriage. At this time, I was having a hard time coping with life’s problems.  My sis was also getting worse but we couldn’t explain death to her as she was simply too far gone under the horrible devastation of Alzheimer’s disease. I didn’t want her to suddenly have a spurt of energy or recognition in life so I spent a lot of days with her, just watching her die. And, I tried to explain death to her, hoping she might hear me.  Time went on, and then she forgot how to swallow and was forgetting to breathe, so we knew death was approaching. In her case, death was not easy and it took many days for her to relinquish her hold on life. I saw how a person who is dying turns black/dark purple on the legs and arms and body and even her face. Then she just simply took one last breath and was gone. Having a best friend and a sister losing the battle within a couple of weeks was the most difficult thing I’ve been faced with for a long time. As I age, and death knocks at siblings, friends and other family members’ door, will this be more difficult to face? Another question about death which I may never know an answer.

Right at the present moment my life is calm and I’m not facing death of anyone close. But we all know we have no guarantee in life. A person can face death’s door at any moment. We should not be afraid. The last few years have been difficult for me with so many death of close friends and relatives but I learned that death is a part of evolution and we must all one day die in order for life of our future generations to go on. God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but it sure seems that sometimes it’s close. Some of you may have been scared as a child. You may have not understood the death thing when you were young and may not even want to face it now. Your question may still be “Why Must I Die”. That was my question as a child…..but I still would like to know if all persons know when they are dying. I may never know." The End.

Thank you for reading this story.  Actually it was hard for me to decide to post this for others to read, but I felt that perhaps it might help others see that we all are humans and go through periods in our life which are difficult to handle.  I'm also sure many persons have a hard time dealing with the subject of death.  Life begins the circle and death completes the circle .... without death, life would not exist.  And, without life, death would not exist. I have been taught through my readings that death completes my existence on earth and begins the transformation where my soul will live on in heaven.  Everlasting life....eternity.  I will see you there sometime.

My wonderful friend Toby...RIP

 





Classmate Betty Faye - RIP







Classmate Butch - RIP

Best Friend Jean - RIP

What's To Eat At Our House Tonight?
Kabobs. I simply cut up meat into cubes....anything you want....chicken, beef, pork. For marinade, I use the lime juice, soy sauce, liquid smoke recipe that I use for Fajitas... I posted the recipe a few posts previously. Let it marinade at least 6 hours. Place the meat alternately on the skewers with pieces of onion, green pepper, zucchini, tomato, yellow squash, or anything you prefer. Baste it with fresh marinade....do not use the marinade which was used for the raw meat.  Grill.  

Thought of The Day

To want to be what one can be

is purpose in life.

--Cynthia Ozick

In the world of fast paced living, almost everyone has a cell phone in their possession at all times.  You can be sitting at a stop light and the majority of drivers who make a left turn in front of you from the other lane have their cell phone up to their ear, and it appears to me they are not paying any attention to driving.  I personally hate to even talk on the telephone, so not often do I have that little prestigious piece of electronic genius up to my ear when driving.  I might answer, then pull off the road.    I swear these people who are cell phone drivers are probably developing "cauliflower ear".... as we used to call any weird looking ear....bumpy and lumpy.  I personally think the addiction to using  a cell phone while driving is as dangerous as a drunk driver.  Just my opinion mind you....but I was a part of the insurance world for all of my career so I've seen why accidents occur.  And what if that cell phone user driver has had a few drinks.....unbelievable!

What did humans do before we had cell phones?   We stopped at a pay phone and made a quick call in order to save money.  And if we were away from home, we thought up ways we could call home and charge it to our home phone so we didn't get collect call charges.  Wow ..... has the world changed in just a few years.  But of course, not long ago we didn't have high definition television either....and up until a few years ago, we didn't have a digital camera which could be plugged into a computer for instant pictures on a computer screen.

Over the years I have accepted the invention of new fangled things with grace.  I love new things, I just don't like it when people abuse the use of "new fangled things".  So if you see me at a stoplight and you're on the phone....could you humor me and put the phone in your lap so I can't see it.....after all, it's your life and mine that I'm concerned about.  Rant over.....see you at the stoplight.
                                                          

A Good Day On The Horizon.... But Hot

An Icon In The County Is Sold
Quite a while ago I posted that I heard that Kent's IGA in Petersburg was being bought by County Market (Niemann Foods).  Then I heard the store was too small so the deal fell through.  This morning's paper confirms that the sale will be made and take over by mid-August.  The Kent family has owned the Petersburg IGA since 1976.  I'm sure I'll miss the fine meats they sold, and hope that this take-over by a larger chain will offer county residents more opportunity to purchase products which have not been available at Kent's IGA and perhaps at lower prices.  Progress in the county is always a good thing.

Top Baby Names In 2010
For those of you who might be waiting for a new addition, the Social Security Administration publishes a list of the ten most popular child's name for different years.  The list for 2010 shows Jacob for the most popular boy's name and Isabella for the most popular girl's name.  Some other names on the list are:  Ethan, Michael, Jayden, William, Alexander, Daniel, Sophia, Emma, Abigail, Madison, Chloe.  It appears that some still like the old fashioned names while others like the more modern names.  A new baby won't care at birth what his/her name is, but in later years that name might be a noose around the neck.  I remember a little book I once had....it said if your last name was Pitt, don't name your child Olive. 

Continuing Story
On July 4, I first started posting a continuing story about a young girl who was afraid of death.  This story was written from journals and diaries and relates to how death affected this young girl.  This young girl was me.  Up to now, the story basically was completed from the standpoint of a young girl.  It now proceeds to this young girl as a bride and will continue to present day. I wrote the young bride section many years ago but never finished it to current day.   I expanded upon and finished my story not long ago as I was faced with more difficult situations.  I am opening up and letting you see the inner me.   Enjoy! 

******

"Some cousins died in the next years but I really didn’t know them all that well. Two of my uncles also passed but not having them live in close proximity, death questions weren’t so overpowering  With the passing of years, I’m a young bride with a child on the way. Grandpa fell and broke his hip and is not getting better in the nursing home. I would go see him and more than once Gramps put his hand on my belly and said “I know you are having the girl I never had”. This statement floored me and numerous times I asked him how he knew this. He said “I see it.” Gramps couldn’t explain it, he just saw it. I asked him if he saw it from heaven and he said yes. Finally, someone who knew something about the future. But Gramps couldn’t elaborate. He was getting worse and on the day my brother got married, Gramps passed to the heavenly place where he saw my baby girl. That baby girl was born two months later in 1972. I know that Grandpa knew he was dying from the things he said, but he didn’t know how to tell me about how he felt. He always said “I just know”. 

 During the next years, there was a reprieve from losing friends and immediate family members, except for a few aunts and uncles. Even though I loved these aunts and uncles, they weren’t people I saw everyday, so their deaths didn’t bother me a lot. 

Then, my dad got lung cancer. Over the next 6 or so years, he had several surgeries. It was tough on me having gone through a divorce and raising two kids on my own. The thought of losing my dad was taking a toll and especially when his wife was a witch and didn’t want me or my siblings to see our dad. She was even jealous of my dead mother and had always put up a battle if my dad wanted to go to the cemetery to put flowers on his dead wife’s grave. One time when my dad had surgery and was in ICU, my stepmother even stooped so low as to omit my older sister on the hospital ICU visitor list because my sister wasn’t my dad’s daughter. And then she told me I better never come back to visit my dad at the hospital because I called her on not wanting my half sister to visit my dad.. Cripes lady. My dad was the only dad my sister ever knew and she called him “dad“. But, my step-mother’s own sons were on the visitor list. She hated me and my sisters, including my baby sister Patty who was a downs child. She didn't want my sister in her house and she didn't even want my kids in her house and asked my husband to leave one time when he came to the house with his shirt off. People in our town may have known her but I bet they didn't know the real woman she was.  

As my dad got worse, he knew he was dying and he was scared. He was put in hospice but wanted to go home for a last time. His wife didn’t want him at home. Dad called me several times everyday and begged me to take him home. I would go and see him after work and hold his hand and talk to him. He was seeing death and didn’t want to go. The hospice people told him he was dying. I didn’t want to see my dad die so I was afraid to go in his room during his last hours. He had the death rattles and the medical staff told us it was just a few more hours. He wasn’t conscious nor aware of his surroundings. I kept away and slept a while on a couch then awoke and something told me to go into his room. After many hours of not seeing him due to my fright of seeing him die, I noticed he was breathing very shallow. I took his hand and told him I was there. He sighed and took his last breath. He was waiting for me. Death was easy for him and I was relieved. 

He had always been afraid of death but he went peacefully. I knew at that point, that if someone told me I was dying I would be scared too. In fact when I had open heart surgery in 1998, I was told I had no more than 10 years to live. I lost faith at that time and it took me a long time to come back to the fold and really understand about death. I did a whole lot of bible reading to convince myself that death was inevitable and the crux of life. To maintain the balance of evolution, death must occur and everyone on earth will die at some point. Prior to coming to this conclusion, I feared death with a passion. Then after realizing this, a feeling of peace came over me. Death wasn’t something I wanted to do at this moment, but when it came, I was ready.
 
Watch for a new post next week.  The end of the story is nearing.  In fact there will most likely only be one  or two more posts.  I finished my story not long ago, and now it is time for me to finish my series of continuing story posts in the near future. 
 
What's To Eat At Our House Tonight
Tonight it's Chicken In The Oven.  I try to cook with little fat and low sodium.  A long time ago I saw a recipe which used mashed potato flakes and flour as the coating for oven chicken.  Since then I have been mixing 1 cup of mashed potato flakes and 3 tablespoons for flour with low salt, pepper and paprika (helps it brown plus flavor).  I roll the chicken in this mixture and put it on a cookie sheet which has been heavily sprayed with canola oil spray....the kind that is fat free.  The after all chicken is coated, I heavily spray the chicken until it looks like all flour/flakes are covered.  Put it in the oven at 375 for about 20 minutes and turn the chicken.  Cook another 20 minutes or until it looks brown on both sides.  People who come to my house and eat chicken this way think I fried it.  You can always scrape the crumbs into a pan and add some oil if you want to make milk gravy.  We will be having boiled small red potatoes tonight with tomatoes fresh from garden and cucumbers and onions in a vinegar and sugar mix.  I love garden time in the Midwest!



Funny Thing
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..... (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....Asuper calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

Ha Ha Ha

Thought For The Day

None of us is

as smart as all of us

--Phil Condit

Sorry this post looks terrible.  Blogger is having big problems today and will not change my font size when I want it changed and when I copy stuff from my other documents, it won't change over.  I hate when this happens....I've been trying to work with them on this.  Sorry.  But anyhoos...have a great day and stay cool as the heat is once again oppressive here in Greenviewland.  Later.....

The New Week Has Begun!

Glory Be...A New Week
Hotter than Hades too here in Greenviewland!!  Now how would I know how hot it is in Hades...since I've never been there and don't plan on it either.  I know mythology has always indicated that the netherworld is pretty dang hot!  And so is Greenview! On Sunday morning, the humidity made the air oppressive and my thermometer in the late afternoon said 92, but by then the oppressive humidity tamed down a bit.  Now for the rest of this week it's supposed to be even worse.

We have a severe weather alert all week due to the heat and oppressive dew point/high humidity.  It's most important to drink plenty of liquids to keep hydrated.  If you work outdoors, in order to replenish the sodium and electrolytes you lose through sweating, you should drink some sports drink....not all day long, but at least 1/2 bottle in the morning and 1/2 in the afternoon, then keep drinking plenty of water the rest of the time.  Too much gives you too much sugar and too many calories.   I prefer Powerade because it has about 1/2 the sodium of Gatorade....I feel the sodium in Gatorade is a bit overkill.  Both have electrolytes which are very important to make sure you replace when sweating. 

If you legs start cramping, you're de-hydrated.  Also, if you can pull the skin up on the back of your hand and it stays there for a few seconds, you're de-hydrated.  If you start to feel sick to your stomach, chills, dry mouth......get out of the sun and into air conditioning. Ignoring signs that you are overheated can result in a heat stroke.....which could result in death if not treated.  Only you can prevent this ... do not overexert yourself in the heat!!!!!!!!

County Fair
It's once again time for the county fair....oh boy.....high heat and humidity....but no rain forecasted.  I'm glad that this year I don't have to sit in one of those buildings.  Done that .... Been there .... Don't like it.

The fair starts Tuesday and runs through Sunday.  Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday the gate admission is $4.00, under 10 free.  But on Tuesday,the 7pm Queen Pageant night, the grandstand entrance is additional....$3.00 adults and children $1.00.  Wednesday night is the 7:30pm ATV pull and grandstand is free admission. Thursday night is 7pm harness racing and grandstand is free.  Friday night the gate admission after 3pm changes to $10.00 for Adults and for ages 6-10 is $3.00 with under age 6 free.  Entrance into the Grandstand to see the 7:30pm Demo Derby is free because of the higher gate admission.  For Saturday and Sunday the gate admission after 3pm is yet another change....$7.00 for Adults, ages 6-10 is $3.00, with under age 6 free.  Saturday night is the 6pm tractor and truck pull with free grandstand and Sunday night is the 5pm mud bog and the dash for cash in the mud....what a dirty and funny thing this is!! 

The fair is for you to enjoy.  We're lucky to still have a county fair in view of the economic situation....I know the fair board has had some worries these last few years.  The Menard County Fair began in 1855...so this county has had over 150 years of fair going....cotton candy....carnival rides.....eating junk food.....looking at agriculture at its best and even peeking in on the women's events.  A good thing as Martha Stewart would say.  Be sure to take the time to visit your Menard County Fair....See you at the fair!

A Continuing Story...A Girl Afraid of Death
Starting July 4,  I started posting a true story written from journals and diaries of a young girl who had some unanswered questions about death.....and was actually afraid of death.  That young girl is/was me.  These posts on the continuing story are randomly done....so you will need to read each post to find the continuing story, starting with July 4 for all of the chapters.  Some of this seems out of order, but this is how I wrote the journals and diaries as a young girl.  I hope you get an idea of a young girl's life in Greenview when she was faced with death issues.  Comments are welcome.

Chapter

Friday has come and today was the day of mama’s funeral. Yesterday we had to be at the funeral home and there was my mom painted in that stuff like clown make-up. And her hands were on her belly. I wanted to take her hands and put them around me and tell her I loved her and that it was ok because I would be ok somehow. Today, the Presbyterian church was filled with people, standing room only. There are so many flowers all over the church. It is raining out and it’s cold but in February that’s something that happens. I sat in the front of the church and didn’t cry much because I was trying to figure out how my life was going to be after today. The cemetery sermon was the worst thing today because the minister said my mom was gone forever. I can’t ask her about what to wear, or how to fix my hair or what to eat so I don’t get fat or how to use make-up like some of my friends. I can’t ask her where my white shirt is or where my ugly red shoes are. My mom was born on a Friday as a Friday’s child and she was put in the ground on a Friday. Did that mean something? Friday must have a meaning but I don’t know what.

I am so hurt because my mama promised me a few weeks before that she wasn’t going to die. Here I am today, a ripe old age of 12 with no mom and wanting one again. Is that possible? After a couple of months, I’m going to begin to ride my bike each day to the cemetery to sit by my mom’s and my brother’s graves, trying to get them to give me a sign that they know I am there. Maybe they can come back alive if I pray long enough. Or maybe the dead can talk to people. I still have questions I want to ask about how people feel when they are dying or right before they die. No one thought of me needing counseling to cope with mama’s death. Why not! I am important and do not understand death.

The very next year, on my mama’s birthday, two of my most favorite people died. One was considered important to the world, but one was loved by many but known by few. My great-grandmother Elizabeth was mighty important to me, but the world thought only of President John Kennedy on November 22, 1963.   Today was also my mama's birthday but she died in 1962, so it was a pretty sad day for me. JFK and Great Grandma Elizabeth both dying on the same day, and on my mama's birthday.   Once again I was faced with the unruly death thing yet our family’s death was swept under the carpet while the world only thought of JFK. My world just seems to be swept with death recently. Who will be next and will be I be able to talk to the next person before death occurs.

After my mom, death approached and grabbed two of my classmates. They were young kids and shouldn’t have had to die. But did they know they were dying? I didn’t get to ask but I suspect they did, as one classmate knew he had cancer. The doctors did surgery and found him full of cancer and just sewed him up and sent him home. There was nothing the doctors could do, so my classmate friend must have known he was dying. But how did he feel? Did something tell him how soon death would be at his door? I don’t know the answer because I didn’t get a chance to ask my friend Pat. My other classmate Kitty must have known death was coming too. Her mom died one summer and even though our classmates didn’t detect she was having problems coping, she was being treated by a psychiatrist. Her last visit must have been very upsetting as she came home and took the shotgun to the farm field, placing it against her stomach and put her toe on the trigger. She had to know death was knocking. Somehow, death or something had to tell her. Once again I wasn’t able to ask my friend questions about death and the feelings Kitty might have had. I didn’t get to tell her goodbye as we were in Florida on vacation.

One day in my teenage years, I got out my white zippered Bible  and started searching through the myriad of pages. The words looked and sounded like it was written in a code. I remember our minister reading bible passages and then elaborating on what he had read. But how did he know that’s what the coded words said? Did he learn that in college? I had gone to classes to become a member of my church and was given my white zippered bible, but that sure didn’t make me an expert on what the bible said. Those classes only addressed a very small portion of the bible. And, besides, I was probably mooning over the cute boys in class so my attention may not have been on the subject at hand. Now that I look back, I wish I would have studied harder, so perhaps I might not need so many questions asked. But I still feel, that none of us will really ever know that death is coming until it’s time for us.  It's amazing that young kids don't know more about death and why it occurs.  People tell us things but then don't explain it.

Be sure to watch for future posts in the continuing story of a young girl.  This is a true story.

What's To Eat At Our House Tonight.
We have lots of left overs in the refrigerator....from the weekend.  So it's called, Cook's Choice.  We have some grilled chicken, some fish, some leftover potatoes and plenty of lettuce to make a nice salad.  So instead of giving you info about how to make what we're having, I'm giving you a favorite recipe of mine.

Butter Cake Bars
18.25 oz. box yellow (says with butter) cake mix
8 oz. cream cheese - softened
1 egg
1/2 cup margarine
1/4 tsp. vanilla extract
powdered sugar - for coating

Beat together all ingredients, except powdered sugar, and refrigerate for at least 1 hour. Roll into 1" balls, roll in powdered sugar, and arrange 1" apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 10-12 minutes. Sprinkle with additional powdered sugar when cooled.

Things People Say

Sometimes it does a person good to laugh and laugh.  George Carlin could say something with a perfectly straight face....and was good at it.  Here's something pretty cool he said:
"Weather forecast for tonight: dark.  Continued dark overnight with widely scattered light by morning."

Thought For The Day

There is always an easy solution

to every human problem -

neat, plausible and wrong.

--Henry Louis Mencken

I always reflect on how boring my message has been. Did I leave my readers with a feeling of complete hopelessness or a feeling that this woman is just plain nuts or did I do a good job of "storytelling". Any time a person writes a blog like this, it's simply "storytelling" -- getting the message across, regardless of what the message actually is. It may have been boring. It may have been unbelievable. It may have been unfinished. It may have been one which satisfied. It may have be one which was unsatisfactory. And it may have been just plain stupid. But I promise I will never end it with "and they lived happily ever after".... because storytelling is just not supposed to end with that! As time goes on, I will continue my "storytelling" and I hope you will continue your reading of the story. No matter what it is on that day. Life is simply a story which goes on and on, day to day. And the story needs to be told. Until another day of "storytelling"....

The Cow Jumped Over The Hump Day

It's Wednesday ... The Hump Day
I love Wednesdays because it's simply the middle of the week.  When I was a kid, I knew someone with the name Wednesday and back then, I wanted to change my name to Wednesday.  I hated my name and was always wanting to change it.  Of course, I remember one classmate who's name was Gail Elaine.  I wanted to change my name to her name too, but just didn't know how to do it.

I guess we should always be satisfied with the name our parents gave us, but most persons seem to be not totally satisfied.  The other day I ran across a woman whose first name was September.  I think I would have found a way to change my name if I had been named that although my grandma's middle name was March because she was born in March.  : > (

I can't believe we are almost at the middle of this month.  Then comes August, the hot month.  Yikes....if August is any hotter than July, we're in trouble.  Today it's cooler, but the rain a few hours ago makes the air very humid and thick.  But at least it's supposed to be a bit cooler today and tomorrow.....gearing up for a pretty hot weekend I suppose.

Hope your Wednesday is full of  fun, delight and money.....not like the old poem, "Wednesday's child is full of woe". 

Usually I Don't Post Controversial Issues
I usually try to stay a long ways from controversial or political issues, but this morning I have two I want to address.  The first issue is the nation's debt ceiling fight in congress.

I saw a banner on the television last night that my Social Security Disability check could be late in August because of stubborness.   Many millions of people and I depend on Social Security Disability money to pay our bills.  I'm still not old enough to draw my retirement from the place I worked.    Cuts in Medicare and Social Security are not the way to win votes.  The rich could stand to have the tax cuts lifted....it has always bothered me that they were given these cuts.  I'm not going to say any other thing about this....but there are probably other readers who might not get their August Social Security check on time if the politicians don't do the right thing.....it's time to write your congressman and ask him/her how you are supposed to pay your bills!!

The second item of controversy concerns Dave Baker, our former chief of police who was the Athens chief of police.  The mayor of Athens has long had a vendetta against Dave Baker and tried to fire him in 2009.  This week the mayor fired him against the vote of the city council, without stating defined reasons, and replaced him with a person who has much less credibility and experience. Dave has just had open heart surgery and only returned this week to work.  The towns people of Athens are up in arms and are trying to get the Athens Mayor thrown out of office.  In my opinion, personal vendettas have no place in personnel decisions.  Also, in my opinion Dave Baker has always been a fine policeman and should not have been treated this way.  I only hope our village of Greenview and our mayor never act in this type of despicable manner.  The end of this discussion.

Continuing Story
The following is another chapter in the continuing story about a young girl's fear of death.  The first chapters were posted in previous posts.  Thanks for reading this story and for reading this blog.  This story is a true story: 

Chapter

"Here I am in the prime of my life as a kid. I’m almost age 13. Of course I became “almost 13” the day after I turned age 12. My mom and dad celebrated their 25th anniversary last year and that makes me feel they are really old. I don’t think they get along very well as I hear my mom crying when my dad is at the tavern. Almost every night, my mom has to call the tavern to have my dad come home for supper. Sometimes he does, but lots of times he doesn’t. That makes my mom cry. A few times, she has asked for me to ride my bike to the tavern to tell dad supper is ready. I didn’t mind going because the tavern was always cool inside but it smells like old stale beer. I always wonder if they empty half-full bottles of beer on the floor to clean the floor. How else would that beer smell be so strong when you walk in the tavern door. No one even cares that a kid walked in the door. That always seems funny to me. But, almost everyone in town knows who I am and I know almost everyone in town too. But I remember one time seeing a black man walking on the street coming from the train station. Someone told me that there were black people staying in a train car down by the elevator. That was scary at the time because I was really young when that happened. I remember my dad saying that there was a town law that said black people couldn’t be in town after 6 pm. Was that really true? I sure don’t know, but I know that up to my almost age 13 status, I only remember seeing that lone black person.



We always go to Grandma’s and Grandpa’s on Sunday night to watch their television because it’s color and ours is black and white. Grandma fixes extra chicken at noon and we eat the rest of it for our supper. Then she gets the old sugar cookie stuffed iron pot out of the freezer. Those yummy cookies are out of this world. At Thanksgiving, Grandma will cook the duck that her sons or Grampa has shot. I hate duck because it’s dark meat and tastes like I’m eating mud. I’m not going to starve because she’s also going to cook a chicken so she can make chicken and noodles. I like to watch Grandma making those noodles and I know that some day I will make em just like her. Gram has the coolest stove, so huge and white. It has this big pot that sinks down into the stove. She says it’s a soup pot and it has a burner in the bottom. She always puts the homemade rolls in it to heat them. One time I about burned my nose when I tried to get my face close to look down into the hole in the stove top. How did I know that the dang burner was on. This same stove also has two ovens, a large one and a narrow one. That is so cool because on holidays there is always something cooking in both ovens. Usually a couple of mince meat pies or my favorite blackberry pie made from blackberries straight from the bushes to the freezer to the pie on Christmas. And Gram always has that yellow looking french vanilla ice cream to put on top of the pie.

During these last days, my mom is feeling pretty bad. One day I asked her if she was going to die but she said no, she didn’t think so. I also asked her if her heart hurt and she said yes she has pains a lot. I don’t want my mom to feel bad and I sure don’t want her to die, but she said she didn’t think she was going to die. Grandma comes to town every day to help mom with cleaning, laundry and cooking the meals. I try to help get some meals so Gram can go home early. Sometimes she starts the meal and I watch it cook the rest of the way or sometimes she lets me cook the entire meal. Depends on what we’re having. I don’t do really too well on some things and undercook it or burn it, but what the heck I‘m a kid. My brother is a really picky eater so he doesn’t like some things I cook but dad always make him take at least one bite. I always laugh when he makes faces and wants to spit it out. I’m lucky because I like everything but liver and when mom fixes that she always takes out a cow’s heart too because I love that.

This morning Grandma asked mom what she wanted for supper so tonight we’re having my dad’s most favorite meal, scalloped oysters. My dad isn’t going to be home tonight for supper, but he told mom earlier that he would have a small bowl of oysters with her before he went to the dinner meeting at Cranwill’s. Mom got up from lying down and sat at the table. I ate and ran to the ballgame at the high school. I wanted to see if I could find a seat by the coolest kid in school. No luck on that seat choice, but at least I was close. 

I want to know the story behind my mom dying. Between grandma and our neighbor, the story started out that mom was watching Password cuddled up with my youngest sister. Apparently she began to feel bad and knew she was having a bad heart attack. She told my brother to call Grandma and tell her. Grandma called the Iron Curtain doctor to come to the house. Someone called my mom’s good friend and neighbor on the corner to come to the house. Grandma and Grandpa made a beeline to town and beat the doctor to the house. There wasn’t anything anyone could do as she passed away and is no longer in this world. Grandma sent my brother to get me and when I got home I told Grandma I would call dad at Cranwill’s. I made several calls that night. Here I was, a kid who had to grow up that night when I called my dad and two sisters to tell them our mama was dead. I didn’t want to cry but I couldn’t help it. When the funeral home came to get mama, we all went to the kitchen and then it was closed off. And when the funeral home men left with mama, all that was left was the couch she had peed on. I felt cheated that my mom was gone. I was just a kid with no one left to clean the house, or do the laundry or cook or to give me a hug. Grandma was getting old and couldn’t do it all. So I have become the chief, cook and bottle washer for a while. 

Please watch future posts for the continuing story of a young girl who was afraid of death.


What's To Eat At Our House Tonight
Tonight we are having Spaghetti and Meatballs. Being lazy today, I will be using bottled spaghetti sauce, but making my own meatballs. I use my recipe for meatloaf (which I printed before) and make this recipe into meatballs and brown on each side and then throw the meatballs into the sauce. I typically add a bit more Italian seasoning to the sauce and throw in a can of mushrooms. Boil the spaghetti and spoon the sauce over the cooked spaghetti. Brush some garlic butter over some french bread slices and broil until brown. Homemade apple pie is also on the menu .... at least it will be if I find the energy to make the pie.



Thought For The Day

Minds are like parachutes.

They work best when open.

--Lord Thomas Dewar

On a sunny day, a person can hopefully feel that the cobwebs of the mind perhaps will disintegrate into the sunshine.  Sometimes it's up to us to make sure we focus on exactly what we want to assure that the cobwebs get wiped from our mind so that we can proceed with life or whatever journey we are taking.  Life can be a hard journey for some, and easier for others.  Let's hope your journey in life has been and will continue to be straightforward and simple.

 

The memorial arch still stands strong and proud!

Old Tyme Menard County....Some Indians Were Here

Old Tyme Menard County Info
I was doing some scouting for history information and came across some interesting information about the Indians which were in Menard County.  This info came from a book called The History of Menard and Mason Counties.  Here's some of what I found:

"On the highest bluff along the Sangamon River, there are to be seen, remains of the works of that strange people called the "Mound Builders".  Many of these mounds have been opened, but no relics of any value have been found.  Stone axes, arrow-heads and spear-heads of flint have been found on the surface ..... and down to 12 foot below the ground .....  When the first settlements were made in the limits of the county, the Indians had almost all been removed; a few still remained in the timber on Indian Creek, in the neighborhood of Indian Point; and two old men with 10 or a dozen relatives remained for some time.  These were Shick-shack and Shambolee .... they moved to a high hill to within a mile of Chandlerville.  Here Shick-shack died and was buried and the hill is still called Shick-shack's Hill.  After he died the rest of the little band left the haunts of pale face and were heard of no more."

Note:  If you have ever gone to Chandlerville using the blacktop out the back side of Oakford, on the left you will see many Indian mounds.  Maybe Shick-shack and Shambolee made these.

Another section described the period clothing.  Here's some of the description:

"Among the early pioneers, everything was plain, simple and in conformity with the strictest economy.  In the very early day the men wore pants and hunting shirts made of buckskin, and caps of coon or fox skin, while both sexes clothed their feet in moccasins.  Cotton goods were extremely hard to get because of the distance ....the greater part was manufactured in Europe. .... Cotton couldn't really grow here due to the climate and short growing season .....  So, after the first year or two, the people began to sow crops of flax or hemp, and this the women spun and wove into a course but substantial and pleasant linen.  Of this underwear was made, dresses for the ladies, towels, table-cloths, etc.  .... Until the crops were ready .... wild nettles..... thousands of yards of linen were made from the nettles by the pioneer settlers in Illinois.  In the year after James Meadows settled in Sugar Grove, his wife spun and wove no less than thirty yards of this nettle linen.  It was strong, serviceable and bleached to an almost snowy whiteness."

Hope this gives you an idea of how much work our early settlers had to do to accomplish clothing themselves.  I'm glad we can go to the store and buy what we need in our period of time.  When the Greenview area was settled, there were many different precincts.....with the primary ones being Greenview, Sugar Grove and Indian Creek.  Those precincts still exist in today in determining precinct voting for elections.  In coming posts, I will be using passages from this very old history book to show you the life of the settlers in the various precincts.

Death
A longtime resident and former teacher, Linda Korte, died Sunday.  Our condolences to the family.

Don't Forget
Don't forget Daisy's Angels Golf Outing, Friday, July 8,  9:30am, Country Hills Golf Course.  This is such a worthwhile effort to raise money to purchase school items for underprivileged kids.  In memory of a longtime resident, Daisy Duncan.

What's To Eat At Our House Tonight
It's back to the car dealership for the third round of warranty work today (hmpfffff).  So.....I had to come up with something easy and quick.  Tuna Noodle Casserole is my answer.  Boil about 3/4 of a sack of dried noodles and drain.  Mix these noodles with 1 can of Mushroom Soup and 2 cans of Undrained Tuna and 1/2 can of drained peas.....mix it up and put it in a Pam sprayed casserole dish and sprinkle some crushed potato chips on top for crunch.  Bake at 350 degrees for about 30-45 minutes or until it begins to get brown.  Serve with a lettuce salad with tomatoes and any other veggies you have.  Heat up the rest of the peas and use as a side dish.  (I don't like peas much so I only use a 1/2 can in the casserole....you can use a whole can if you like them and want lots of peas).  This is a cheap and easy meal if you like tuna.  And, if you use lower sodium mushroom soup and omit the potato chips, it's fairly healthy.  Happy Eating.

Continuing Story......

The first post relative to this "continuing story" was made on July 4, 2011.  This is a true story, using mostly journals and diaries from my younger years.  The subject is the fear of death that I had as a child.

Chapter 2

I remember my mama so well. I found my secret diary from my middle and high school years. On one of the pages, I had written the following paragraphs about my mama:

“When I was a younger child, I remember crawling up on this lady’s lap and hugging for all I was worth. She had short curly hair and the clean smell of soap. She would always hug me and pat my hair and rock her body while I was lying in her lap. She was a jokester and a comedian and would laugh and laugh. I wish you could have seen her when she played her ukulele and danced the jig. And when my grandpa played his harmonica or fiddle, she stood beside him while grandma plunked on the piano. As the years passed, she became ill and couldn’t do much of anything but she could still hug and pat my hair or braid my hair as I sat beside her on her bed. And, the smile never left her face until the day she died. She never complained much either, but I know she was sad because she couldn’t get up and do lots of things with us kids. This grand lady was my mama. But when I was age 12 I had to say goodbye. But I still remember her smell and can sometimes feel her arms abound me, especially when I sit at her place at the kitchen table. I now ride my bike to visit her at her grave and sit and talk a while and take flowers to her grave. What peace she must enjoy being among the trees, with the sky above where she can watch the hummingbirds and the butterflies. She hasn’t been gone a long while so I still miss her, but I sit and admire her nameplate upon her door to heaven and tell her I miss you mama.”

I had questions in my mind about how my mom felt in the years, months, days and hours before she died. Did she know that she was going to die. Did something tell her or was she oblivious to the fact that death was approaching at an early date in her life. I would never know because I never really talked to her about dying except for asking her if she was going to die. I was too young. Even when people get older, most people don’t want to and don’t talk to their parents about death these days, unless the parents are diagnosed with a terminal illness or unless they are getting really old. Then the talk is to learn the parent’s desire about which funeral home, cremation or burial, etc. The talk doesn’t center around how do you really feel about death mom and dad. And the questions don’t ask “do you know you are dying”.

"My name is really not important because I know my own name. I live in a very small town in central Illinois situated on a state highway or “hard road“ as we all call this highway. I guess we call it “hard road” because it’s made out of concrete. I know what it’s made from and how they did it, because I watched those fellows build this road back a ways. When that building was going on, I loved going to my dad’s tenant house to sit in the yard to watch those huge machines dig the earth for the bed of the “hard road”.
 
"Today is my first day in the 7th grade. I am officially a big shot middle school kid in the middle of the corn belt. The town is about as small as a town could get. In fact, I don’t think it really qualifies as a town, as it’s called a village. Now that is small. The village is surrounded by corn and bean fields with pigs and cows thrown in for good measure. My dad is a farmer on the south side of town but we don‘t live in the country. I know my dad’s southtown fields well as I have walked everyone of those buggers, either cutting weeds out of beans or picking up orphaned ears of corn after the field was harvested. I’ve been driving a tractor since I was about 8 years old and I learned to drive a stick shift grain truck when I was age 10. My dad wanted me to learn to drive his trucks so he took me to the pasture and said "I’m going home on that tractor and if you want to get home, you drive this truck home. You’ve seen me drive this so you should know how to do it.” It took me about 2 hours to learn how to drive around that pasture and to get brave enough to drive home, but I did it and have been driving ever since. Hauling grain to the elevator is a way of life for a farmer’s kid long before becoming license eligible. But there isn’t a town cop and the sheriff is a family friend, so he turns his head to farmers’ kids driving because it is the way of life here in Podunk Illinois."

"Home is where everyone drives pick-up trucks because they want to. Sure a four wheel drive truck helps in the middle of winter when there is snow on the ground, but even though we complain that we’ve had a bad winter, it usually means it’s been cold and not that we had 4 feet of snow. A pick-up is a fun thing because you can go mudding down at the “crick” or you can haul some bricks for a fireplace or maybe haul the big dog around in the back. And once the local sixteen year olds get their license, the rest of the kids can hop in the back for a fun night of cruising the streets of the old hometown. But they don’t let little kids like me in the back. I always hear “get away kid”, you’re too little. I always say, “But I can drive a big grain truck with a dual low gear, now you tell me I’m too young”. I always hear “Shoo-fly, go away”.

"I don’t have a big brother because mine died before I was born. Something to do with a water head and maybe something named leukemia, whatever that is. But I could be wrong, because that was many years before I came along. His name was Bobby and he was 3 years old. That isn’t fair that I couldn’t know my brother. Thinking about Bobby makes it comes to mind, that I wanted to be there to hold his hand and ask him if he knew that he was going to die. I wonder if he cried at night knowing that our mama wouldn’t be there to hold him when he was sick or when he was hungry or when he just wanted to be held. Did he feel that desire to have his mama once he was dead? Or, maybe dead people don’t have that feeling that they want to be held. Does anyone know the answer about feeling things after you die, or, do people only feel things before they die. At my ripe age of 12, I have lots of questions about this. Those people who read the Bible say it’s fun to be dead, but I say, if you haven’t died, you can’t know."


....Please come back to see a new post under the Continuing Story ....  Be sure to read the blog each day so that you don't miss any episode in the life of the young Greenview girl who was afraid of death.  This story is a true story.

Thought For The Day

To find yourself,

think for yourself.

--Socrates

The answer to the mystery of life is sought by every living person.  Can you unlock this mystery?  What happens if you do solve the answer....is that the time your life ceases?   I certainly don't know.  But I know I sure have lots of questions about a lot of things.  But for this day I must be in the midst of my living soul.  Each day I will get up from bed and cook, eat, clean and do millions of little things, then at night and after I have refreshed my body and soul,  I will once again start the clock in the next day in the chain of evolution ... I will do things over again and the very next day after that I will also do the same thing.  Small things change....my life cycle doesn't.  From a Greenviewanite to another....have a good day.  Keep on smiling!

Happy Independence Day 2011....The Land Of the Free

July 4, 2011
Once again we're celebrating an Independence Day.  Freedom still rings throughout our land.  We call it the Land of the Free and the Home Of The Brave.  Our star bangled banner still waves in triumph..."oh say can you see by the dawn's early light"!

We are lucky to have this independence and freedom.  Think about some of the Arab countries or the African countries.....freedom doesn't exist. 

When you think about it, there are limitations on our freedom and this bothers and concerns some persons.  Women don't always get paid the same as men, so does this violate our Civil Rights granted under the Bill of Rights?  Children can't pray in school.  A lot of assemblies of persons  result in arrests so has freedom been lost.  People are arrested for voicing their opinions, so does this violate our rights?  If a person believes in Islam, they are considered a terrorist.  There is racial profiling.  The constitution gives you the assurance that you can be safe in your house, yet a Supreme Court decision was made to allow police into your house without a warrant if they hear what they call suspicious sounds in your house.   The Federal Government can use videos and wire tapping when a person hasn't been convicted of anything.  A Chicago women made a choice of an alternative treatment for her child who had behavorial mental problems....a Chicago Swat team broke in and took the child because DHS didn't like the treatment decision.   Police seize computers and cell phones to obtain information about you.   In one Chicago school, children are banned from bringing their lunch from home.  If you have a bank account or a security lock box at a bank and don't use it for a period of time, it's seized and kept for a while then sold or used. If you deposit $10,000 or more in a bank account. you are reported to the IRS and investigated and if you write a check over $5,000 it's put on the suspicious activity list and if you write several this size, you may be in trouble because they probably think you are money laundering.   Sometimes I even feel that Big Brother Is Watching me.   HA HA

 All of these things are not necessarily something I agree with, but could these be violations of our constitutional rights?  But, all in all, this country sure isn't as bad as Iraq or Afghanistan, etc.  As Americans, we must always stand United on the home front.  We must strive to assure the country operates with our constitutional rights guaranteed and awarded.  Each person is given the right to elect Congressional and Judiciary persons who will assure that.....and if they don't it's time to elect another who will.

Enjoy the day whether you have a planned family outing or cookout.  Or, maybe you have to work.  Or, maybe you will just sit back and enjoy a day of freedom.  Kick off the shoes, recline the chair and watch the television and by all means relax.  But ..... enjoy the day.  And think of our town Greenview, Illinois.....which was organized by our forefathers, to remain forever, in the land of freedom.  A fine old town which still stands proud, bedecked today with our star spangled banner, waving strong and proud.  It's a good thing!

A New Concept I Will Be Posting.....A Continuing Story
Throughout my lifetime, I was always writing things in journals and diaries or just on paper.  It was simply a part of my life.  Several years ago, I got all of these out and started reading these.  Some things I had written were dumb, but I was a kid then who had not much else to do as I lived in Greenview, Illinois.  Many of my writings were deep thoughts on various subjects and in my older lifetime, they made sense and were still deep thoughts.  Other writings centered on my fears of certain things.  One of these fears was the subject of death.  It was obvious to me when I re-read my writings that I didn't understand death as a kid.  And when I think about this, I don't think any child understands death and even when that child grows up, the understanding may not get any clearer. 

I decided to write some of my thoughts on the subject of death in a continuing story.  Some things are from my journals and diaries and some from a documentation of my life's story which I completed a couple of years ago.    I don't know exactly how long the story will continue....until I'm done with my story I guess.   I'm not sure if I will post a story chapter each day or if it will be a few a week.  Sometimes it might not follow the timeline and will appear to jump around but that's the way I wrote in my journals. I will try to not make my posts so long that you lose interest.    If I lose readers because of the subject, that's ok, but keep in mind I'm not trying to sway anyone to come around to my way of thinking, I'm just documenting my food for thought.  And maybe this will help me retain readers and gain some more.  I sincerely hope you enjoy reading....keep in mind that some of this is copied from my diaries and is very personal to me.....yet I am willing to let you see the inner me.  Just a humble kid in the beginning and now an old lady who still lives in Greenview, Illinois.  Enjoy!

Death Is Hiding Around The Corner

Chapter One - First Impression

The first person I remember seeing lying in a state of death’s repose was the daughter of my father’s friend. The girl was quite young and looked like she was sleeping but I couldn’t understand why her facial features looked funny.  She was really pale and her face looked like she had painted her face with clown makeup.  That clown makeup really bothered me.   Why did she just lie there and do nothing?  She didn't smile or raise up and tell people hello.  Why were her fingers lying on her belly? Why was she lying in this box with white satin material on the pillow.  Why was her mother and father crying? Why were lots of people crying? Why did my dad shake his friend’s hand and hug his wife? Why did my dad bring me here?

All of these questions would be normal questions for a young child to ask when death is first exposed to the child. I had never seen death before and no one told me what it was or what I should expect because I was too young. But at some time I had to learn, so I suppose my dad felt it was time to show me how death affects those who go on living. I sure didn’t think it was time but my dad apparently wanted me to know that she was dead and gone to heaven. But I still didn’t know what that meant until I thought about the funny facial features and the stuff on her face which looked like my clown makeup. And those fingers on her belly, just lying there, not doing anything.  I didn't like that clown makeup and those fingers lying on the belly.  And when someone said they were putting her in the ground, it felt pretty final to me. That bothered me because I remembered the bird I found not long before that day I went with my dad to see that dead girl.  That bird must have been dead. I picked him up when I found him and shook the bird a bit and when he just laid there, I didn’t want the neighbor’s dog to get him, so I dug a hole for him and buried him. When dad told me the girl was dead then I knew the bird must have been dead. Why didn’t I know that? And why must things die?

After my experience of going to the funeral home with my dad, I knew I didn’t want anyone I knew dying. But time marches on and the so called nasty death began to catch up with my life. A few aunts and uncles died. I remember having to go see them for the last time.  I knew I would never see my aunt/uncle ever again.  It wasn't fair.  And just like the young girl I saw the first time, my aunts and uncles were covered in clown makeup and their fingers were lying on their belly. I began to associate those fingers on the belly and clown makeup with death. Was I going to look like that one of those days. NO! Not me.

During my grade school years we played a lot of baseball at the grade school yard which was across from our house.   There wasn’t a whole lot to do in town, so we made our own fun.  Sometimes it was walking up the spiral fire escape on the old grade school and sliding down it on a piece of waxed paper or forming the baseball teams and playing for hours.  I had to be very observant of my mom as she was sick a lot so I had to stick close to home.  Through the last years, she was in the hospital with a bad heart attack. She took this liquid green medicine for her nerves. The Lithuanian doctor, Stanley Paulaskis, filled her bottle each time she visited the doctor. I don’t think she took other medicine because I can’t remember seeing her take anything else, but I know she felt bad a lot. The doctor’s wife was his nurse. Everyone always says he came from behind the Iron Curtain. That sounded stupid to me as a kid, because if the curtain was iron you couldn’t get through it so how did he come here? I once asked him but his accent was so bad it couldn’t understand what he said. I remember hearing Walter Cronkite say on television that the Iron Curtain meant there was an impenetrable barrier by the Russians. When I heard the word Russians I got scared, because people said the world was going to end because the Russians are going to drop a bomb on us and kill the world. I also remember that Mr. Cronkite talked about this huge stone Berlin wall in Germany. I always wondered why do those people in other countries liked walls and curtains. Here in America, we liked the wide open corn fields and pastures and if my family wanted to go to another state, we could go. I really liked watching Walter Cronkite report the news. Almost as much as I like to watch Lawrence Welk and the Lennon sisters.

I was aging and began to know a bit more about people dying and death. I learned some things at Sunday School from my teachers and from the minister and from my friends at school.  The minister said that death was beautiful but I didn't see it that way with that funny makeup.   I didn’t have a book to use to really explain death, so I had to rely on these people’s knowledge. But I had a lot of unanswered questions. Then the most horrible thing happened. My mom was ill with a terribly ravished heart and in my twelfth year of age, she died one night when I was at a basketball game. My brother ran to the school to get me, but mama was dead. She had peed on the couch and I knew mama must have been really sick to do that. She would have been so embarrassed. But I didn’t know that death caused her urine to be released.

It was the night before Valentine’s Day in 1962, and my brother and I had spent our allowance on a box of Valentine's Day candy for mama. What was I going to do with that candy? We ended up giving it to grandma. The next day I asked my dad if I could call his new wife “Mama” when we were out shopping for a new blue dress for my mama to wear in her casket.   I was age 12 and how did I know that no one could replace my mom. And, how could I know that my childhood had just fallen apart and that in the future the world would be full of mean and hateful persons stepping into my father’s life and trying to capture his heart and his money while alienating this child as well as the rest of the siblings. And these same people my dad seemed to like, hated my baby sister who couldn’t help she was a downs syndrome child. It happened. Why did my mama have to die?  I was so upset with mama dying because just a few weeks before that she told me she wasn’t going to die when I asked her about her being sick and going to die. I remember crying out “Mama how could you do this to me, I’m only 12“.

......STORY TO BE CONTINUED IN A FUTURE POST.....KEEP ON READING PLEASE.....AND THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY STORY.

What's To Eat At Our House Tonight
Tonight is meatloaf.  I simply use:  1 teaspoon garlic powder and 1 teaspoon onion powder, 1/2 cup chopped onions, 2 Tablespoons worchestershire sauce, salt, pepper,1/2 cup ketchup,  3/4 cup Italian bread crumbs, parsley flakes, one egg, 1/4 cup water and  2 pounds of ground chuck (may need more bread crumbs....trial and error).   Mix it together, and shape it in a loaf and put it in a sprayed pan.  Before I put it in the pan, I spoon really cold water over it above the sink.....water over the top supposedly makes it so it doesn't fall apart....at least my food sources told me long ago.  I let it cook out the juices and pour off the grease and about 3/4 the way through cooking I spread ketchup over the top and mix 2 cans of tomato soup with a 2 cans of water and put around the meatloaf so we can use this for gravy.  Total cooking time for a 2 pound meatloaf will be about 1 1/2 hours....but test with a thermometer.....170 degrees.  Mashed potatoes taste really good with the tomato soup gravy.  French green bean casserole and hard rolls are also on our firecracker meal.

Thought For The Day
 

Every night I turn my worries over to God.

He's going to be up all night anyway.

--Mary Crowley

I appreciate my readers....more than you can ever realize.  Today is a holiday for which we celebrate our nation.  Tomorrow is a holiday on which we can celebrate life itself.  We should always be thankful for being given yet another day to live in this world.  Be kind to yourself....take a moment to reflect on your life.  And, if you have a few spare moments, think about documenting your life.  Those who are your next generation will appreciate learning about the person who had a small town named Greenview Illinois in their history.  From one Greenviewanite to another.....Have a safe and happy July 4, 2011.  I remain.....your friend.