Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Here It Is Christmas Morning...I better be good today

Oh Yes, Santa Came To Our House, but he forgot to leave any presents.

The old man did come to the house.  I can tell because the dang cookies are gone and the milk glass has a ring around the bottom.  He could have at least rinsed out the glass.

But did he leave any presents?  NO HE DIDN'T!!

I guess he was mad at me for having so many rules at Thanksgiving time.  Must have thought old Grandma had flipped her wig with the long list of rules.

Speaking of rules, I bet I will be subject to some real doozies today when we go to the kids' house.  Payback can be h*ll sometimes.  I've looked around but didn't see any of their rules posted but here's what I think they might be.

Grandma Will Be Subject To These Rules:

~~ Grandma will come with all of her teeth in.  She cannot leave her bottom dentures at home because they hurt.  Suffer Grandma.

~~Grandma will not want to come three hours early like she usually does.  She always wants to come and be early to see the kids open presents and some of the time when we were still in bed.

~~Grandma will bring presents already wrapped and not come expecting to use our wrapping paper and tape which we put up last night.

~~Grandma will not bring any more of that horrible hashbrown casserole which contains sardines and tuna.  It was made from some recipe given to her by one of her cyber friends who got it from a magazine at the doctors office but had never tried the recipe.

~~ Grandma will not start any fracus with her ex-husband.  It's bad enough to listen to him, let alone listen to grandma go on and on.  After all they have been divorced for 30+ years.  They fight like they were still married.

~~Grandma will not drive nails in our fireplace to hang stockings just because she thinks stockings should always be hung with care and love by Grandma.

~~Grandma will not fall asleep at the table just because she was so excited and couldn't sleep last night.  Grandma you snore and it's really loud so keep awake.

~~Grandma will not give us any of those awful fruitcakes bought at an auction for $2.00 for a huge box of what was last year's fruitcakes.

~~Grandma will give us a big stocking filled with good tidings and no coal.  We got enough of that when we were young.

Grandma we hope you have a good time at our house, but please remember the rules. 

Love,
Your Darling Youngins and Their Families.

 
Yes, I'm pretty sure the above rules are what my youngins will expect me to follow today as I go about my Merry Christmas way. Of course, since I had rules at Thanksgiving, I will most certainly abide by their rules today....well at least some of them.  I will definitely wear my all of my teeth for sure.
 
 
 
Today is a special day as the little Lord Jesus was born on this day.  And, so was my special husband.  My husband, of course, doesn't know if Santa or the stork brought him.  I really think it might have been the stork but who knows as Santa has been know to do some dumb things.  Happy Birthday Baby Jesus and you too dear.
 
Seriously, this holiday is the one which always brings joy and love to my heart.  I get to spend time with the ones I love.  I am thankful for each day that I can do that. 
 
As each of you go about your day, remember the reason for the season. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  He brings us the hope for another day and love for the present.
 
Have a Merry Christmas today and always.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 






Monday, December 17, 2012

December 21, 2012 Forecast

I Know You've Been Waiting
For The Forecast For the
"Important Day" This Week
 
 
December 21, 2012
 
Will It Be A Day In History?
 
Here's the Forecast For Wednesday
Through Friday, December 21, 2012
 
 
 


Friday, December 14, 2012

Santa And His Trip

Santa's Riding The Skies

Sleigh bells ring and Santa rides the skies. Just like last year. 
But, last year he ran into a bit of controversy.  Yes he did.  Just as he flew into the skies of Turkey and Iraq.

When the leaders of Turkey were young they believed in Santa and he was welcomed with open arms, but now these same kids grew up and didn't believe because they are old and mean and they sure didn't want him around.  But, he said to himself....."I had enough Turkey at Thanksgiving this year" so he really didn't want to stop in Turkey this year.   Iraq was the least desirable country to pull into and stop his sleigh.  After all, he'd been shot at many times as he flew over parts of the Middle East and especially Turkey and the no fly areas of Iraq.  This was dangerous stuff let me tell you.  Some kids in Iraq believe in him and call him Baba Noel but apparently their daddies don't believe and don't want him flying the skies of Iraq central.   They hate anyone who looks like he may be from the United States and Santa does look like that.   At least last year, that's the way it was.

In view of all of these factors, Santa pulled over beside the Country line to think about what to do.  He could leave presents on the Country line and hope that the kiddies of this country got them, but that wouldn't work.  No he's sure some punk will take them and sell them for a profit.  I guess there is only one sure way .... and that is to go into Iraq as much as he doesn't want to.

Santa's glad he's doing this Iraq delivery earlier than all the rest of the world.   Early means he can get done and if anything happens....like taking his magic red sack which spews forth the gifts, at least he could get home to the north pole and get a new sack or two and maybe replenish his strength and perseverance.

So he pulls up the reins and hollers at the reindeer....let's go boys....off to the wild blue yonder of Iraq.  Now Dancer, Now Prancer and Vixen.  On Comet, On Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.  They mounted to the sky and before long he landed on the roof of the Iraqi compound of the the local big shot...might as go big on the first delivery.  But it was a mistake....the big guns came out.....and Santa and his eight tiny reindeer had to make a run for it....back to the sky.

And as he drove out of sight, Santa was mad, so he hollered ----
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night and may your wells test of camel urine and may all of your camels die of HIV.....

Guess he showed them who was boss.  This is a lesson, do not make Santa mad when he lands on your roof in America or any other country!!!


Note Story Disclaimer:  This story is purely
fictional and was written for the sole purpose of
humor and is not intended to discredit any
country, race or creed.

 
 
 
 
Old Stuff
 
 
Some little girl once got this doll for
Christmas back in the 1950's.  It is a part
of my collection but was not my doll back then.
She was and still is a popular doll to collect.  She is a Terri Lee Doll.
 
 
 
Some little girl got this doll for Christmas in the early 1940's.
This doll has been a part of my collection for about 15 years.
Her name is Rosebud.
 
The doll on her lap is from the early 1900's.  It is
a cloth doll with a head made from a compound like plaster of paris.
 
 
Some little girl got this doll in the late 1800's.
A friend from Athens gave me this doll.  She was in very bad shape when I got her.  She looks better now and is happy now to be among the other dolls.
 
 
 
 
Remember when the old commercial came out about the softness of Charmin?  One would always see old Mr. Whipple and him saying "don't squeeze the Charmin". 
 
If you could use this type of tag line "Don't squeeze the ________, what would you put in that blank?
 
It could be "oranges" or "apples", but that would be boring.  How about the "trigger".  Wowser, that could be dangerous.
 
When you insert another word besides "Charmin", it just doesn't work too well.  So, it's my opinion that if you want to spiff up that old tag line, you may have to still use Charmin in the blank and add something at the end. 
 
Something like "Don't squeeze the Charmin......it could save yo old hiney".  Now that spiffs up an old thing really well!!
 
*****

 
 
 
Thanks for coming to my blog.
A mixture of humor, history and human interests.
Hope to see you again. 


Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Christmas Card Messages


Have you ever wanted to make up your own Christmas card messages???

Well I have always wanted to do that.  Especially for some people.

Here's a Christmas note for friends, telling them about the family:    Hubby dubby had three surgeries and wow he was really addicted to the drugs they gave him, but he's been in Betty Ford's clinic.  He was acting like Rush Limbaugh and rolling his eyes a lot and saying ching-chang-cha so we knew he was in bad shape.  He would roll his eyes some more and say we were being selective and we knew right then he was over the cliff. Now he's doing better and if Rush can handle it so can hubby dubby.  The rest of the family misses his presence but the family sure is having a good holiday season right now while he's gone. 

A particular message for instance....I knew this promiscuous person, so her message would be:  Merry Christmas and have a good time during the holidays, but don't get pregnant.

Another would be:    Bah Humbug.  Don't expect to get anything from me this year....you're off my list.

Yet another one for those promiscuous people:   I told Santa where you lived.  Do you hear him say HO HO HO....I think he's scoping out the area for you!  He's calling your name....Merry Christmas.

For a former boyfriend:  This is the happiest Christmas I've ever had since you dropped me as your girlfriend.  Merry Christmas you jerk.

Another for a former boyfriend:  Merry Freaking Christmas.  And the same for your girlfriend, if you still have the same girlfriend you had when we were together.

For a former friend:  Santa left this sack for you.  It smells like your breath. I think it contains sh*t.   Merry Christmas. 

For a sibling, whom you are having a fight with:  Merry Christmas.
You're getting the same thing from me that you gave me last year.  Nothing.

Just a funny for an older grandma type person you don't like:  Merry Christmas.  I thought I saw you go by in Santa's sleigh.  After all Grandma got run over by a reindeer, so Santa pulled you in the sleigh huh?

These messages would be given with lots of love and meaning.  And I do mean "meaning" and pointedness!!




Things I remember about Christmas when I was a kid.

 1.  We always had a Christmas present exchange in our grade school classes.  One year, a boy stole some of the presents which had been brought in and put under the small tree.  The school officials knew who did it and so did us kids. The boy was from a very poor family.  The teacher bought presents to replace those stolen.

 2.   I remember going to Steinberg Baum to shop for Christmas presents.  This store was one of the first discount stores in Springfield and was on south ninth street south of South Grand.

 3.  I remember Christmas shopping in downtown Springfield and Myer's Bros. windows were fantastic....all decorated beautifully.  And when you walked down the street it really was crowded...but of course there were no malls or strip malls then.  We would go to Myers Bros, Bressmers, JCPenny, Barkers, Springfield Dry Goods, Westenberger's, Berger Seigel, The Platter and the Hub.  Then we would eat at Coney Island or Woolworth's lunch counter or Steak and Shake.  And we would buy pastries and other sweets at the B & Z Bakery.

 4.  I remember watching Miracle of 34th Street every year.

 5.  I remember getting dolls each year from Santa and going to both my Grandma Julie's in Middletown and my Grandma Elvie's and Grampa Alvie's in Greenview on Christmas Day.  I remember my grandma always cooking the Christmas duck (icky taste and buckshot in the meat).

 6.  I remember the huge wooden Santa my dad always put in our front yard with a spotlight and then he wouldn't take in down until February. 




Caramel Recipe

In case you need a caramel recipe, here's mine.  Everyone in town used to say mine were the best.  (Walking away with a big smile.)


 
CARAMELS
4 cups sugar
3 cups white syrup
5 cups ½ and ½
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup chopped nuts 

Mix sugar, syrup, 2 cups ½ & ½  together on med hi cook to soft ball stage (235).  Then slowly add 3 cups ½ ½  and cook again to 238 degrees, constantly stirring and will take another 30 minutes.  Add vanilla and nuts and pour into buttered jelly roll pan.  Makes about 4 -5 pounds.   Be sure to use dutch oven to cook in due to boiling volume.
 
 
I pledge to get on the ball and begin to get things done around here.  Stuff is sliding, but we've had a few things going on so I guess some of the things can wait.
 
Hope your Christmas Holiday plans are going well.  It won't be long and we will be there and it will be over and we can do the clean up and putting away of the decorations.  And begin to recover from the financial drain it puts on everyone.  Amen.
 
 
 
Thanks for coming to my blog.
 
Hope to see you again.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Bingle Jells .... Bingle Jells

Ima Bingling all the way.  And you probably are too and don't know it.

These holidays will do it to you every time.

I've decided to write you a story today about dear old Santa and his  Bingle Jells.  Enjoy!

 
The Story of Santa and His Bingle Jells

Santa is a merry old soul ...  full of it sometimes but he's pretty cool when you think about his whole being.  Maybe a bit too fat, but I imagine a nice diet of bingle jells and moodles would shave off a few pounds.  But would anyone recognize the fat old jolly man after he's been eating bingle jells?

Dear old Santa was out in the woods looking for lingle dingle berries for his reindeer.  Rudolph had taken quite a liking to these lingle dingle berries, so Santa was always hunting them.  He wanted to make sure to keep Rudolph happy since Rudolph was always his guiding light on Christmas Eve night.

Lingle dingle berries were hard enough to find in the summer, let alone having to find them in the winter.  But they were there in the winter, Santa just had to look harder and farther for those lingle dingle berries Rudolph liked so much.  In the winter there was an old codger possum which always hunted those lingle dingle berries too.  He liked them almost as much as Rudolph.  Lingle dingle berries grew on the south side of the tallest branch of the Ponker Donker Tree.  They almost hid being on the south side.  But that's where they grew as they didn't like the sun shining on them at any  time through the day.  Of course Ponker Donker Trees were rather a rare breed of tree.  They were known to grow where the sun don't shine, but at the north pole, the sun shone most of the time during the day and so these Ponker Donker trees were few and far between.

Santa would take his sleigh out during the day and be gone most of the day to hunt those lingle dingle berries.  One day as he was hunting those berries, he found this little bush growing close to the ground which had these weird little things on the branches of the bush.  He picked a few and offered them to Rudolph who snorted and kicked up his hooves and shook his head.  Santa thought oh well, maybe Rudolph doesn't like them but maybe I will.  So Santa threw a few in his mouth and chomped away.  Yum they were really good but all at once Santa began losing weight right on the spot.  His suit still fit him but it was looser on him.....and he knew that to be the case as he had gained weight over the summer and the suit was almost too tight.

Santa grabbed another handful and threw some more in his mouth.  He lost some more weight.  Wow Santa thought, what an easy way to lose some weight.  And I bet Mrs. Santa would really like some.  So he picked all he could find and put them in his other lingle dingle berry container to take home to Mrs. Santa to see if she knew what they were.

Once home, Santa took them into the house to Mrs. Santa.  Of course she knew what they were.  They were Bingle Jells.  Hard to find at the North Pole, and wonderful to find as they tasted so good and helped people lose weight.  Mrs. Santa used to pick them as a kid down on the lower north pole where the sun warmed the air much more than up in the far north where she and Santa lived.  She carefully washed the Bingle Jells and put them in a container to freeze them for later use.  But, Mrs. Santa warned big old jolly Santa.  "You never want to eat a lot of Bingle Jells as they will take you down a notch or two".  In fact, they can make you disappear.

Later on Santa did a sneek and peek at the Bingle Jells as he really wanted a few more to lose a bit more weight.  So he grabbed a few more and poof he lost about 20 pounds in just a few seconds.  He was happy and made it to bed, dreaming of Bingle Jells.

The next day he decided to go hunting for some more Bingle Jells so he could have some more.  He found a huge patch and picked them all.  He was so excited, he just had to eat a few more so he did.  And yes....he lost some more weight.   In fact he ate those Bingle Jells all the way home, losing weight at every bite.  He was now 2 miles from home and looked down at himself and he was a mere toothpick under his big old baggy suit.  How in the world was he going to explain this to his elves and the little kids who came to sit on his lap and tell him what they wanted.  He couldn't go looking like a toothpick in a red furry suit.  He was scared.  And he was also scared to tell Mrs. Santa as she was going to be so mad at him.

So he had two choices.  Eat some more Bingle Jells and totally disappear or confess to Mrs. Santa what he did. 

I will now ask you what do you think Santa did?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>*******


My answer is simply this.  If you think there is any such thing as a Bingle Jell which can be eaten to lose weight, then you are pretty silly.  Everyone knows there isn't such a thing to do that.  And there aren't any Bingle Jells or lingle dingle berries either.  I made it up!

 
 
That's all folks.  It was enough wasn't it?
 
This is copyright material.  Please do not copy.


Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Didja?

Didja know?

Didja know that it's only 20 shopping days left before Christmas???  Guess I really didn't have to tell you that huh?!

The time passes so quickly when a holiday is coming up.  Everyone has so many things to do and not enough time to get them all done.  That's what happening to me.  So I've decided that I'm making a plan so everything will be "easy peasy".  Let the brainstorming begin!!  Of course we all know that 50% of the time will be spent in thoughts on what to put in the plan.

Here's the plan:     (remember FOCUS)

 1.  Put the Easter decorations away finally.  That bunny was beginning to think he was going to live in the living room for the rest of his life.

 2.  Begin looking for the Christmas decorations which are buried underneath the Valentine stuff and to the left of the halloween masks left from when the 40 year old kids used them.  And behind the prom dresses left from their junior year in high school.

 3.  Look up grandma's old Christmas platter and make sure it doesn't have any turkey scraps dried on it from the last time it was used.

 4.  Guess the shopping needs to be started.  Need to shop for all 4 presents I plan to buy since money is the best....it fits, it's the right color and they can't take it back to exchange it.

 5.  Sit and visualize what the Christmas table should hold and look like.  Does it need a turkey or a ham?  Does it need mashed potatoes or potato salad?  I say "anything but a turkey"!  After eating the four pounds of turkey salad and five turkey pot pies just a couple of weeks ago, I've seen and eaten enough turkey until Thanksgiving in 2014.  The grandkids won't want to come to the table to eat a formal sit down meal, so why not do a brunch.  Oh goodie no formal table, which means the good silverware and china doesn't have to be washed.  Let's have a buffet with ham, salads, pickles, appetizers, cookies, cake, pie and a whole lot of shrimp!  Nothing like a bunch of shrimp to celebrate the holidays.  Start that master grocery list.

 6.  Meal planning and shopping is done so on to cleaning.  I guess I better plan to run the vacuum a couple of times before the big day.
Once before the tree goes up and once after the tree is up will be enough.  The floor will just get dirty when the presents are unwrapped on the big day.....so why exert the effort when the dang floor is already pretty clean from Thanksgiving.

  7.  Drinking a few brewskis with friends might be in the plan during the days before the big day so I'm putting it right here!

 8.  Figure out what can be baked ahead and frozen.  And keep your hands out of the "goods".

 9.  Go over the budget to see if there will still be money left to buy food for the rest of the month.

10.  See if you want to send on Christmas cards, keeping in mind that if they send you one, you send them one....otherwise no one cares a diddly if you send them a card with a note about what's been going on in your dull life in Timbucktoo Illinois.

11.  Make a note to clean out the refrigerator.  It still looks empty to me since that 20 pound turkey had to fit, I had to throw away enough stuff to feed the whole Army and maybe the Navy too.

12.  Make sure the drawer has a lot of extra batteries.  You know how the kids forget to buy batteries for their kids' toys.

13.  The big day is almost here, so start getting the pans out and the tablecloths and the extra chairs and the napkins and the plates and the cups and whatever else will be needed to set up that easy to manage buffet. (easy to manage for whom I might ask....surely not me....maybe everyone else who will come and put their feet up on the footstool and sit back and relax).

14.  On the big day, get up early.  And do last minute things.  And try to think of everything I forgot on this list.  Take a shower, get dressed in my old Christmas blouse with the storks dressed in Santa hats as I forgot to buy a new blouse to wear....dang it.

15.  Open those presents.  Open those money cards.  Watch the faces when they realize that their part of the inheritance wasn't included in the Christmas envelope...they will just have to wait until I'm pushing up daisies out at Elmwood cemetery to get that inheritance.

Then it's over.  My plan is done.  My schedule is complete.  Wonder how much I forgot.  Oh well.

Old Stuff

 
5th and Adams in Springfield early 1900's.
These arches used to be decorated with for the state fair
 and the holidays.
 
 
 
 
 
Westenberger's downtown on 6th Street
between Monroe and Adams, east side of the street in early 1960's.
Back in the mid 60's high school girls bought angora yarn here in numerous colors to wear wrapped around their boyfriend's
class ring.... it was then brushed or some girls painted the angora
with several coats of fingernail polish.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
An old newspaper article about the above Barnum Circus which
appeared in Springfield in 1884.
 
 
 
This week I saw where the Feds were looking at our every email.  Wow.  I hope they learn a lot. 
 
Yikes, if they saw that stupid email I sent about the two alley cats screaming in the middle of the night, they will probably think I'm ready for the looney bin.  Or, maybe they read that email  I sent which said how happy I was to have seen that a dear friend was celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary. Will they think I'm planning to do away with these people just because I sent them an email.  What good do they think reading my emails will do for the government.  Perhaps they think I'm giving away government top secrets.  The most they will find I'm giving away is an old family recipe.  Geeze....if it's not one thing, it's another....government control.  But.....I guess we could be in Iran or Iraq or someplace like that where there is no freedom of anything.
 
 
 
Thanks for coming to my blog.
Hope to see you soon!