Swimming In A Borrowed Suit

Swimming in someone's suit?

To swim is wonderful if you like to swim.  But if you hate water, it's maybe not good.  And, in order to swim, you say you will have to borrow someone's suit......well that sounds like something I might not do.....nope on second thought, never would I do that. 

First of all, someone's suit might not fit.  You have to try to find one that will fit all portioned or unportioned parts of your body.  If you're a woman and are top heavy, then you'll need to find one with big enough boob cups to fit you.  And when you do, your smaller hips might have lots of baggy material just hanging there.  When the butt factor is what gives you trouble, that much bigger size you need just to cover your butt cheeks, might give you what is known as "saggy cups".  This could mean that your boobs might wander around and even fall out when there's too much room.

A person must realize that even a department store won't let you try on swimsuits without leaving on your underdrawers.  Now why would that be?  Ohhhhhh ick!  Can you imagine someone trying on a suit in a store and that person has the unspoken but gross V-A-G-I-N-A infection.   Or, even worse, it could be something else (sperminskis maybe).   Oh crap!  That suddenly makes me want to barf and never try on a swimsuit again.  Of course this body says to me, you should never try on a swimsuit because you look so terrible, and if you really bought one and went out into the world,  you would become the Eighth Wonder of the World .... otherwise defined as a classical construction of an antiquity .... a fat antiquity at that.

At this point, I see that I have four options.  Never borrow someone's swimsuit if I feel the urge to go swimming when it's hot.  Secondly, the other option is to choose to swim only when no one is looking because my suit might not fit.  Thirdly, is to not go swimming at all.  And fourth and maybe the best is to don't borrow a swimsuit.....get nekid and go swimming butt nekid while it's dark.  That way no one will see the eighth wonder of the world having a good time with an "unborrowed swimsuit"..... that eighth wonder classical antiquity will be in the "suit" she was born with.

Illinois State Fair

(you can click on most photos to get an enlarged view)

1912 Illinois State Fair Coliseum with a covered walkway

Illinois State Fair Coliseum Building 1908

mid 1940's Illinois State Fair Happy Hallow

Illinois State Fair Machinery Hall 1910

Quote For The Day

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind

and won't change the subject.

--Sir Winston Churchill

This weekend will see lots of fireworks and kids calling out ooohs and aaahs.  But is it a good time to light those fireworks when our area is so drought sticken?  

I personally think that this year, fireworks should be banned so that a wildfire doesn't become a first for this area.  Not that a wildfire would burn acres and acres like it does in the forests of the western states, but there are small towns and subdivions in the woods (mine)  which could go up in a puff of smoke.

If you are a person who has a bunch of fireworks to set off to give a few people a bunch of laughs, think hard about this being the right time to give a few laughs when it could result in a lot of persons suffering from fires.  Their tears are not worth a few laughs for others.  The trade off isn't worth it in my book.

Have a good holiday weekend.  It will be a hot one for most of us so take precautions and drink lots of fluids!!

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Boredom Leads To .....

What do you think....does boredom lead to things?

To me boredom can cause many things which are either bad for our health or bad for us in general or downright terrible things like strange behavior......BUT....boredom can also result in creativeness and adventure and even healthy brain stimulation.

Give me a handful of gizmos or whatever and I usually can create something.....even if I'm bored.....and usually the more bored I am the better the result. 

But I know persons who bask in boredom and want even more....the more bored they are, the more bored they want to be.  To me ....if such persons don't find a healthy environment to entertain their mind, then boredom could very well lead to them becoming really stale....like an old loaf of bread.  To me, most persons who are responsible adults, can lift the life of boredom and would most likely be easily entertained in life.....doing creative things.

Boredom....is it for you????  In today's environment of high gas prices, high food prices and everything else that's expensive, just managing your finances should keep everyone from being wrapped in the embraces of boredom.  Life should never be boring....it should be exhilarating.  So go for it....crawl out of your boredom hole if you're there!!!

Vintage Area things.....

(you can click on most pictures to get an enlarged view)

1901 Building Springfield Lincoln Library

1879 Illinois legislature in session.

Lincoln....Sheers Buggies with the

court house in back

Area corn shelling in 1964.  Corn shelling at that date was still

a viable business, however, it wasn't long after that farmers began buying columbines which would not only pick corn but also shell it.  My father did custom corn shelling .... farmers would hire him

to shell their corn from their grain bins.

Petersburg New Salem.  Lincoln-Berry Store

Quote For The Day

Honesty is the first chapter

of the book of wisdom.

--Thomas Jefferson



I understand that internet dating is becoming really popular... and even on church internet dating sites... That's not anything I would want to do......maybe someone who finds a jerk on the internet dating site can use this "Love" (??) poem.

I thought I loved you, even tho I don't know you

Let me count the 10 ways you killed my internet love

Way one....your filthy mouth stinks

Way two......you fart too much and I can hear it on skype

Way three.....you're too fat

Way four.....your mouth is too large

Way five.....you're too short

Way six.....you don't have enuf money

Way seven.....you think you're smart but you aren't

Way eight.....your feet stink and I can smell them through skype they are so bad

Way nine......you need to wise up

Way ten.....find someone else, do I need to say more?

Hope that internet admirer got the message!!??

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An Elephant Sat On My Easter Bunny

Awww Shucks!

The Easter bunny didn't come to my house this year, but every year he does.  I was so upset when I got up that morning and found that he had forgotten me.  Depressing, believe me.  'Cause I love those dang chocolate bunny eggs!!

So.....yesterday afternoon I went for a walk out in the back yard, out on the hill.  Lo and behold I first came across some big piles of something gray and icky.  It sure didn't belong in my yard.  But I didn't know what it was.

I walked a bit further and found some fuzzy fur.  ????????????????Then I began to find more fur.  Then I walked a bit further and found a couple of chocolate eggs.  Then the ultimate......I found an Easter basket with my name on it.  So....the Easter bunny actually was coming to my house.  But, just didn't make it.  Wahhhhhh!  Yay he didn't forget me. 

 But what happened to the Easter Bunny?  Then, up ahead, I see something in a heap.  The poor Easter Bunny was lying there but he was no more.  And beside him sat a big pile of something which looked like elephant dung....and it smelled like it too.  It was elephant dung.

I'm not sure how that elephant dung got there.  Last week I found gator dung out there on that same hill.  I think that particular gator escaped from someone in town after one of his gator episodes but, did/does that gator fighter also fight elephants? Who knows.... I just know that gator fighter is fearless.  Or, maybe there was a circus in the area and the elephant escaped and maybe even the gator.  Or maybe one escaped from somewhere else.  But, how did the elephant come to be on my hill and just as the Easter bunny was about to deliver.

Now you know how bad my luck is.  On my most favorite chocolate candy days, an unknown escaped elephant is out in my yard, and steps on the Easter bunny, just as he is ready to bring me a basket with my name on it.  Candy being lost is a crime in itself.  But to kill the Easter bunny is a crime punishable with confinement for life.

If you see an elephant running around, call me so I can call the gator fighter to see if he can capture the critter.  That elephant needs to be in jail for good!  Smashed bunny is just too much for this person to handle without my quota of chocolate for the year.

Old Time Fairgrounds

1910 Machinery Hall Illinois Fairgrounds

Fairgrounds Happy Hallow.....early 1940's

Springfield Fairgrounds Happy Hallow....postcard

with 2 cent postage.  Unknown date but probably early 1900's.  The current permanent Springfield location came into existence in 1894....until then the fair moved from as far north as Freeport to as far south as DuQuoin.

1920....Construction of the underground tunnel from the track infield to the fairgrounds.

1910 Postcard....Sears Agricultural Building

on the Fairgrounds

The fairgrounds racetrack behind the Sears

Agricultural Building

Early postcard photo of Fairgrounds Entrance

Thought For The Day

Someone's boring me.  I think it's me.

--Dylan Thomas

I want, you want, they want, he wants, she wants.....everybody wants these days.  And it's usually money.

The bill collector doth cometh sayeth the Lord of bill paying.  Payday has become exchange day....from the hand of the employer paycheck to the bill collectors/gas station/electrical company/cable company/internet provider/credit card companies/grocer. Does that sound familiar??

Me thinks the paycheck is getting smaller and the bills are getting bigger.  Hmmmm.  What can be done about that??  Nothing....so grin and bear it.  Or don't drive anywhere....or don't eat.....don't heat your house.....use candles.....no tv....no internet......etc, etc....

I think I will grin and bear it thank you.  Enuf said!

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Spring or Summer

The calendar says spring!

We have gotten so used to the hot days of summer in March, now that it dropped down to 48 degrees this morning in Greenviewland, and only forecasted for 61 degrees, how will we be able to tolerate this cold weather ..... ha ha ha.  Keeping in mind that even at 61 degrees it's warmer than it usually is at this time of any other year gone past.

But now that it's cooler temps, we might have to start the day with a jacket, layer our clothes and do a strip tease out among the ranks as the day warms.  First strip off the jacket, then the first layer of a sweatshirt maybe, then down to the shirt.  At 61 that's still cool so maybe a long sleeve shirt will be the day's attire.

Just keep in mind that in a couple of months, when the temps are at about 85 degrees with the humidity at about 95%, we'll be wishing we were back at a high of 61 for the day.  The heat is coming......the sweating is coming and you will probably wish you could do a complete strip tease ..... down to your birthday suit.  Get out you sun bonnet, your sunscreen and your shorts and bikini tops folks because when you mow your grass you will need them. 

So enjoy this cool-warm day.  And especially with the sun shining.  It's not supposed to do that tomorrow.....so enjoy your day!!

Did you know this about Illinois history?

1.   1673 -- French explorers Jacques Marquette and Louis Jolliet descend the Mississippi river to the Arkansas river and return to Wisconsin via the Illinois River - the first Europeans to reach the Illinois country.

2.   1675 -- Marquette founds a mission at the Great Village of the Illinois near Utica (by Starved Rock).  In 1680 the Iroquois Indians destroy the Great Village of the Illinois.

3.   1680 -- French traders, Rene Robert Cavelier and Sieur de La Salle and Henry de Tonty build Fort Crevecoeur on the Illinois River near Peoria and in 1682 Tonty and La Salle build Ft. St. Louis across from the Great Village of Illinois site.

4.   1717 -- Illinois becomes a part of the French colony of Louisiana.

5.   1763 --  French and Indian Wars (Seven Year) end; Illinois country is ceded to Britain by the Treaty of Paris.

6.   1783 -- The Treaty of Paris extends the boundaries of the United States to include Illinois country.

7.   1784 -- Virginia relinquishes its claim to Illinois.

8.   1787 -- Northwest Ordinance places Illinois in the Northwest Territory.

9.   1800 -- Congress creates the Indiana Territory, which includes Illinois.

10.  1803 -- Kaskaskia Indians cede nearly all of their Illinois lands to the United States.

11.  1809 -- Congress organizes the Illinois Territory, with Kaskaskia as the capital. with Ninian Edwards the governor.

12.  1811 -- The first coal mine in Illinois was opened in Jackson County.  New Madrid, Missouri earthquake, the largest in United States history, damages Southern Illinois and recurs in 1812.

13.  1814 -- Kickapoo Indians move wet of the Mississippi, relinquishing most claims to Illinois lands.

14.  1820 -- Vandalia becomes the State Capitol.

15.  1830 -- The first state prison is built in Alton.  Abraham Lincoln moves from Indiana to Illinois.

16.  1839 -- Springfield becomes the State Capitol.

17.  1850 -- The population of the state is 851,470.

18.   1853 -- The first state fair is held in Springfield.

19.  1860 --  Luxury Steamer, The Lady Elgin, sinks in Lake Michigan, killing nearly three hundred passengers.

20.  1871 -- Chicago Fire destroys eighteen thousand downtown buildings with loses estimated at near $200 million.

It's kind of fun to learn a few things about our great state.  We will once again visit the history of Illinois and fill in a few gaps in time.

Thought For The Day

The greatest lesson in life is to know

that even fools are right sometimes.

--Winston Churchill



Funny typos can really be hilarious.  I remember seeing one picture which said "English is our language, learn it, no excetions".  They misspelled the exceptions.  LOL

Then, I saw a sign one time which said "No Newpeppers today".

Sometimes I think the reason for the typos might be ignorance of English grammar, or really poor spelling abilities.  Of course, there is also just plain old typing errors.....like the following story which  supposedly happened at one of my former places of employment....an insurance company:

     "An insured person had an unfortunate need to have his testicles removed.  The clerk in the medical claim department had talked to the insured person after the surgery and assured him the bills would be paid.  Then a letter went out which stated "please send in your balls and we will pay your claim".  The horrified claimant immediately wrote back that he didn't have his balls.....the hospital must have kept them."

This was definitely a case where proofreading might have caught the typing error....it should have been send in your bills, not balls. 

Just want to let you know that if you find funny or funky typos in my stories, it's one of two things.....I did it purposely to see if you are awake or it's my fingers doing dancing exercises on the keyboard early in the morning.....could be either...you never know.

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