These holidays will do it to you every time.
I've decided to write you a story today about dear old Santa and his Bingle Jells. Enjoy!
The Story of Santa and His Bingle Jells
Santa is a merry old soul ... full of it sometimes but he's pretty cool when you think about his whole being. Maybe a bit too fat, but I imagine a nice diet of bingle jells and moodles would shave off a few pounds. But would anyone recognize the fat old jolly man after he's been eating bingle jells?
Dear old Santa was out in the woods looking for lingle dingle berries for his reindeer. Rudolph had taken quite a liking to these lingle dingle berries, so Santa was always hunting them. He wanted to make sure to keep Rudolph happy since Rudolph was always his guiding light on Christmas Eve night.
Lingle dingle berries were hard enough to find in the summer, let alone having to find them in the winter. But they were there in the winter, Santa just had to look harder and farther for those lingle dingle berries Rudolph liked so much. In the winter there was an old codger possum which always hunted those lingle dingle berries too. He liked them almost as much as Rudolph. Lingle dingle berries grew on the south side of the tallest branch of the Ponker Donker Tree. They almost hid being on the south side. But that's where they grew as they didn't like the sun shining on them at any time through the day. Of course Ponker Donker Trees were rather a rare breed of tree. They were known to grow where the sun don't shine, but at the north pole, the sun shone most of the time during the day and so these Ponker Donker trees were few and far between.
Santa would take his sleigh out during the day and be gone most of the day to hunt those lingle dingle berries. One day as he was hunting those berries, he found this little bush growing close to the ground which had these weird little things on the branches of the bush. He picked a few and offered them to Rudolph who snorted and kicked up his hooves and shook his head. Santa thought oh well, maybe Rudolph doesn't like them but maybe I will. So Santa threw a few in his mouth and chomped away. Yum they were really good but all at once Santa began losing weight right on the spot. His suit still fit him but it was looser on him.....and he knew that to be the case as he had gained weight over the summer and the suit was almost too tight.
Santa grabbed another handful and threw some more in his mouth. He lost some more weight. Wow Santa thought, what an easy way to lose some weight. And I bet Mrs. Santa would really like some. So he picked all he could find and put them in his other lingle dingle berry container to take home to Mrs. Santa to see if she knew what they were.
Once home, Santa took them into the house to Mrs. Santa. Of course she knew what they were. They were Bingle Jells. Hard to find at the North Pole, and wonderful to find as they tasted so good and helped people lose weight. Mrs. Santa used to pick them as a kid down on the lower north pole where the sun warmed the air much more than up in the far north where she and Santa lived. She carefully washed the Bingle Jells and put them in a container to freeze them for later use. But, Mrs. Santa warned big old jolly Santa. "You never want to eat a lot of Bingle Jells as they will take you down a notch or two". In fact, they can make you disappear.
Later on Santa did a sneek and peek at the Bingle Jells as he really wanted a few more to lose a bit more weight. So he grabbed a few more and poof he lost about 20 pounds in just a few seconds. He was happy and made it to bed, dreaming of Bingle Jells.
The next day he decided to go hunting for some more Bingle Jells so he could have some more. He found a huge patch and picked them all. He was so excited, he just had to eat a few more so he did. And yes....he lost some more weight. In fact he ate those Bingle Jells all the way home, losing weight at every bite. He was now 2 miles from home and looked down at himself and he was a mere toothpick under his big old baggy suit. How in the world was he going to explain this to his elves and the little kids who came to sit on his lap and tell him what they wanted. He couldn't go looking like a toothpick in a red furry suit. He was scared. And he was also scared to tell Mrs. Santa as she was going to be so mad at him.
So he had two choices. Eat some more Bingle Jells and totally disappear or confess to Mrs. Santa what he did.
I will now ask you what do you think Santa did?
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My answer is simply this. If you think there is any such thing as a Bingle Jell which can be eaten to lose weight, then you are pretty silly. Everyone knows there isn't such a thing to do that. And there aren't any Bingle Jells or lingle dingle berries either. I made it up!
That's all folks. It was enough wasn't it?
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