Ya Gotta Know This About That: Funny And Sometimes Stupid Headlines

Things newspapers print as headlines.....
All my life I've loved to read the newspaper headlines and laugh beyond control at some of the stupidity of persons in charge. Not long ago I saw a headline which I thought was one of the best and most stupid headlines I'd ever seen. It said "Tornado Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead". What was the newspaper thinking when that one was written. Of course there are hundreds dead in the cemetery but I doubt that the tornado killed them.

Some of these funny headlines can be considered entendres that I've previously posted about. A few more of my favorites are: "Farmer Bill Dies in House"; "Smith Evades Noose, Jury Hung"; "Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim"; "Red Tape Holds Up Bridges".

Some headlines aren't entendres, they are just plain hilarious or downright stupid. One I read was "Man Kills Himself Before Shooting Wife". How the heck could that happen????? Another one...."Gun Shop Raided, Weapons Found" .... are you kidding me???? Here 's a real ignorant one "Couple Slain, Police Expect Homicide" .... I'm not a policeman and I know that!!! The best one "Woman Improving After Fatal Crash"......what???????

I imagine it's easy to let something slip through newspaper editing but weird headlines seem to be plentiful and pretty stupid in a lot of cases. At least it keeps us in stitches and we all know a good laugh is good for our souls and health.....so I say keep on putting out those funky headlines. And now that you know headlines can sometimes be strange as they get....I bet you will be watching more closely to find your own.....and I bet you find a bunch too!

Just Some More Old Area Pictures
(click on the picture to get an enlarged view on most of these)

Springfield, south side of square on Adams

between 5th and 6th 1950's

When J. C. Penney's was downtown.

Springfield, same block as above, 1956

Springfield, north side of square, Washington, between

5th and 6th, 1950's

Pegwill Pete Show

Springfield, late 1950's - early 1960's

Lincoln, unknown date

1911 Middletown Postcard

GM&O #33 P&N Middletown, IL

Recipe

A friend gave me this recipe a long time ago. It makes a hearty stromboli which can be served with a salad for a great supper/dinner. It's almost like a cross between a calzone and a stromboli. It takes a bit of work but these are good. It makes a big roll-like stromboli so slice them up to serve unless you are super hungry.

Stromboli Roll

I take frozen bread dough (see my note below), thaw it out and roll out on the counter with a little flour until very thin but not thin enough for holes to break through....just enough so that you leave enough room to overlap a bit to close the stromboli to bake.

1st layer......generously put a layer of ham (capicola ham is good)
2nd layer a layer of provolone cheese
3d layer generous layer of genoa salami
4th layer of mozzarella cheese
5th a generous layer of pepperoni (sliced kind for sandwiches)
6th layer of swiss cheese

Bring ends together and close by bringing sides together to meet in the middle and close. Seal with an egg mixture with a few drops of water and brush on. After sealing, I usually carefully turn this over so seam is down and then brush on the egg mixture on the top. Can sprinkle with poppy seeds or sesame seeds of leave plain.

Bake 350 oven for 30-35 minutes or until golden brown. Slice into about 1-2" inch slices and enjoy!

NOTE: I find that if you roll the whole loaf at one time.... after rolling them out these tend to be larger than the average cookie sheet so I usually cut the bread loaf dough in half and make two out of one loaf. These go really fast so make a lot. Kind of looks like below:

Thought For The Day

There is nothing worse than a brilliant

image of a fuzzy concept.

--Ansel Adams

Each morning I sit at my most uncomfortable computer chair writing at the speed of light....well almost! My fingers fly over the keyboard at maximum speed for an old woman's fingers.

Speeding along on my keyboard sometimes gets me in trouble. I misspell words, leave out punctuation and sometimes my written item generally looks like it was hit with a bomb when my fingers get on the wrong letters. It's obvious to me that my mind works faster than my fingers. I guess I'm lucky because when a lucky idea light bulb goes off in my head, I can expand on that idea or thought pretty rapidly....and need to get it written down as quickly as I can. I just have to be in a really positive mind set to accomplish the best that I can do. Old Greenview minds and fingers need oiling every once in a while.....the wheels turn slower in the slow pace of the town.

So what am I to do about slow fingers? I could cut them off, but that would leave me holding a stick in my mouth trying to type one letter at a time. I read somewhere there are "slow finger" exercises that can be done....maybe this is the answer. I also read that by doing the Hanon exercises, which pianists use, your fingers will gain speed and agility....just what I need. Unfortunately, I gave my piano to my daughter so I guess that's out.

In these days of internet, email and social networking, we must all type fast so we can move on to the next mind boggling fast paced piece of our day. The world moves at a staggering rate and I stagger just trying to keep up.... but if you want a big piece of the action, you have to try to be speedy. Most of the time I can't keep up with writing, reading facebook (can't even figure it out these days), and looking at emails, so I just do my own thing at sometimes less than the speed of light speed.

If you are reading this blog, excuse the misspellings and left out words. Usually I do the post and then re-read it and go in and make corrections.....so if you're fast in pulling up my blog right after I post it, you might see some really weird and crazy words in my latest post.

I guess I have to put up with these crazy slow fingers. But I will always give it my best shot....and be unique. Keep on reading and I'll keep on writing! The rest is left to fate!!