Friday, April 20, 2012

Things To Do In An Elevator

Elevator riding can get funny.

People who work in big cities where the buildings are huge, seem to need to ride the elevators for many minutes a day.  What do you do when you are in the elevator?

Do you people watch?  Do you read your newspaper?  Do you listen to every word the two people behind you are saying?  Do you try not to listen to the conversation behind you?  Do you sniff the air and smell 20 different deodorants and the 20 different colognes, some of which are cheap dimestore sweet and sickening.  When you sniff, do you smell the body odor from the 5 people who only take a bath or a shower once a week.

Do you smell the fart someone just let off?  OMG this happened often in the building I worked in.  Someone in that building was always letting the most rotten smelling toots in the world.  I just know that they purposely ate eggs every day just so their glorious farts would smell like something for which a maggot would turn its head in order to avoid the putrid smell.

Each time that happened I would look around the elevator to see if I could see the culprit.  I was looking for the most sheepest and most guilty looking person in the elevator.....but I could never find the guilty party.  I figured they had this little escapade down pat and had probably been doing this for a long time. 

Being the jokester that I am, I thought one day,  if I were ever faced with the need to let a big one go while in the elevator, I knew what I was going to do.  I was going to let the big old fart and find a person whom I really didn't like in that elevator and stare at them and make a face of horror.  I awaited the day for sure. 

Then it happened.  I had been a bean eater a for a couple of days and wow I had gas which was just waiting to explode.  I was in the operator and it happened to me.....I just couldn't hold it in.  A big old silent fart came out.  Luckily the person standing near me was someone I just couldn't stand and he was a jerk to everyone and I couldn't think of a person who liked him.  So I made a big production of smelling the air and crinkled my nose and looked over at my elevator mate.  I could tell he had smelled the fart and was wondering who let it.....it appeared he was rather mad it happened while he was a passenger.....the arrogance of the man!! 

Anyway I crinkled my nose and got a look of horror on my face and looked his way.  Other persons in the elevator saw me looking his way with a look of disgust on my face and those persons also began looking his way and crinkling their nose as they got the power of the fragrance......he was caught!  He began to stare back at persons......everyone was looking at him.....he was the culprit....just as I planned.  HA HA HA....what fun I had.  I knew now why the other culprit, who usually let the farts, was eating lots of beans and eggs and letting the stinkies in the elevator.  It was fun.

I did this same thing a few more times.....and once that same jerk was on the elevator so I made sure I looked his way with a disgust on my face.  He began to be known as Mr. Stinky Fart and no one wanted to be in the same elevator as he was.  How laughable is that!!!

I guess the moral of this story is:  "fart if you must, but be sure there is someone else on the elevator so you can blame that other person."  And, be sure to keep staring at them with a crinkle in your nose and a look of disgust on your face.  It's a good way to get back at people you immensely dislike.....just make sure your fart is one of the silent deadly kind!!!  You want to make sure the putrid smell creeps up on the elevator mates.....noise gives it away!

Vintage Springfield (click on pictures to get an enlarged view on most pics)


A. C. Connor's Cash Meat Market, Springfield
Shown in 1912, but unknown location.  Housewives shopped at this meat market and went to stores like Oliver's grocery shown below for staples such as flour, sugar, and canned goods.  The prices look good on the window, but the average laborer only earned about $5.00 per week.




Oliver's Super Market, Springfield
Unknown date and location but represents one of the grocers located in the city in the early 1900's.





Springfield Dry Goods, Springfield
It moved to this building on the north side of the downtown
square in 1929.  It had been located on the east side of the square prior to the move.  This store carried fabrics, towels, buttons, bows and ribbons.  I can remember this store being at this location in the 1960's.





Circa 1970-71 Remodel of the Illinois State Capitol
R. D. Lawrence was the Construction Company



1942 Labor Day Parade, Springfield
This crane is presented by the Operating
Engineers, Local Union 965, and is moving south on 5th street in downtown Springfield.  You can see the Myers Brother sign and in the far background, the Orpheum Theater sign.




Lake Springfield Bridge 1968 construction work
Sangamo Construction company




3.3 mile stretch of I-55, Springfield,  completed by Sangamo Construction.  I-55 officially opened November 8, 1971.



Spaulding Dam, Lake Springfield 1933 circa


Quote For The Day
One woman can change anything,
Many women can change everything.
---Women For Women, Intl.


 I hope you enjoyed todays post of pictures from my Springfield collection.  Due to the fact my post contained more pictures than usual and the length of this post, I will simply say.....have a good weekend....enjoy your day....bon jour!!


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